Most of my friends, family and readers know I’m not a big fan of the Transformers franchise, nor am I a fan of Michael Bay’s storytelling formula. But who am I to shy away from giving what the public wants? Which is apparently two more hours of giant robot destruction in a masturbatory climax of loud noises and fiery explosions (in colossal digital IMAX 3D in select locations!).
Out is Shia LeBeouf (who is not famous anymore) and in is Mark Wahlberg who is an apt replacement for LeBeouf if you start comparing acting chops. But who needs acting and plot when you have twenty ton robots from space blowing the crap out of everything on the screen?! All you need is a cute girl, a reluctant hero, flags waving in the background of every scene, and that recycled music from nearly all of Bay’s productions.
Don’t save me a seat . . . seriously.